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Joined: 5/9/2003
Posts: 22950
Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003 2:44:00 PM
 
It's that time of the year again.

The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool... by removing themselves from it.

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the
trigger again. This time it worked.....

And now, the honorable mentions:

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have
a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim
was approved.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
to beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
Hurricane Grad?

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a
gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS
THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers
started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It
probably saved his life, ] ]because he'd been about to draw his gun. He
couldn't t have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away
and is still at ] ]large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a
plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this
is a ****-up!"

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinderblock bounced back and hit the ] ]would be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
whole event was caught on videotape.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady
I stole the purse from."

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 91
Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003 3:05:00 PM
 
xa-xa-xa-xa-xa! умора
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